Does the moment make the man, or does the man make the moment?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

2. The Past And Present Of Love...

Yellow - Coldplay


“Off the table Chubby…” Alex groaned as he walked into the kitchen, trying to assess the damage caused by the party the night before. “Chubby, I said get down!” He groaned again, louder this time as he moved towards the cat, trying to shoo him with his hand.

Chubby saw him coming and sat down, staring at Alex. Alex sighed, causing Chubby to cock his head to the side in a ’touch me and I’ll take off your hands’ manner. Alex shrugged his shoulders at nothing in particular, deciding that this battle was one not worth waging; not when there were other things to focus his energy on.
Like the stench of cigar smoke, the piles of dishes on the counter, or the cornucopia of empty beer cans and alcohol bottles that were scattered around the lower level of the house. “Holy fuck batman…” He said quietly, almost in awe that a few people could make so much mess.
Sure almost twenty people would be a lot to someone; but not when the mess was almost ceiling high.

“Ugh! Get off the table Chubby…” Max murmured as he half-fell, half-stumbled down the stairs.
Chubby stood, quietly hopping down onto the linoleum floor and trotting past Alex. “Wow… wow…! What a fucking mess this is, eh? Bon dieu…” He grinned sheepishly as he stepped over a pillow and walked past Alex. “At least it was a good time… well… I’m not sure it was a good time cause I don’t really remember but… I think it was.”

Alex cringed as Max walked past him and the stench of stale smoke and vodka got worse. “Are you still drunk?”

“Ah, I believe so, yes.” He chuckled, pulling open the fridge. Alex rolled his eyes as he watched Max bat around through the food and drinks; searching for something to cure the hangover they both knew was coming. “So what was up with you last night? Mood killer…”

“I just didn’t feel like drinking really…” Alex shrugged, wondering how to explain his feelings of inequity to a man that prided himself on being larger than life. “I mean, it’s not like I’m never gonna party again… I just wasn’t feeling it last night.”

“This isn’t about that girl from the bar is it man? I mean… I wasn’t even into her but, you just looked, well, really not into her…” Alex nodded, waving away the French-man’s concern.
This wasn’t about the girl. It wasn’t about the party either, or the fact that the cat he had raised from infancy, liked him less than his friends.
He couldn’t explain what had gotten into him the past few days. Why he was being such a party-pooper, he wasn’t sure; he was even less sure if any of his friends had gone through anything like this before either.
The more he thought about it, the more he began to think that this had something to do with Evan - of course it had something to do with Evan - but he didn't want to think about her right now. “Well hey, here’s an idea! We could go out tonight! Saturday’s are for partying, right?”

“It’s Sunday now Max…”

“Oh… right. Well… Sundays are cool too… wanna go to Diesel?”

Alex shook my head and glanced at the clock. “No thanks, I mean… I could but I wouldn’t be drinking again, I’m going dress shopping with Evan tomorrow afternoon.” Alex cringed slightly at the name, wishing that he could have just made up another excuse instead of letting the truth roll of this tongue so loosely.

“She’s got you going dress shopping? Dude, you’re so pussy-whipped, and you don’t even get pussy from this girl!” Max groaned, slamming the fridge door shut.

“Who’s not getting pussy from who?” Jordan asked, walking into the kitchen; looking far better off than Max.

“For your information-”

“I know, I know.” Max said quickly, holding up his hands in surrender as he cut Alex off. “Evangeline is your best friend and she doesn’t have any other friends in Pittsburgh… blah, blah.”

“And it’s her wedding dress… she can’t go by herself.” Alex sighed, feeling like he was explaining himself for the zillionth time; which wasn‘t far off.

Jordan snorted. “What kind of help are you gonna be dress shopping? Unless, there’s something you’re not telling us…” He grinned, causing Alex to roll his eyes.

“Seriously Gogo… you need to get laid… maintenant!” Max shouted loudly, causing everyone to jump at the sudden change in volume. “I haven’t seen you with a girl… since you came here. That’s not right!”

“I’m fine you guys… just drop it.” Alex turned around and walked out of the kitchen; his original plan to clean up the mess, abandoned.
He headed up the stairs towards his room; deciding he’d rather look like a whiner than get angry at his friends… who meant well, even if they didn’t help anything.

They had never met Evangeline, and not from a lack of trying. Alex just didn’t want to have to associate her with his world; or at least, his little part of it.
It wasn’t like she didn’t have anything to do with hockey players or the NHL, after all, she was getting married to one. A Flyer at that…

No, he couldn’t tell the guys that his best friend - and ex-girlfriend - was engaged to Jeff Carter, he’d never hear the end of it.
They knew that she was getting married, and they knew that Alex was still in love with her; the belittling he got over that was bad enough, if they knew she was marrying a Flyer… well, he didn’t even want to think about it.



“So a little birdy tells me that Gogo’s gonna be trying dresses on this Monday.” Billy quipped loudly as he walked through the restaurant towards the few Penguins that were already seated.

Alex grimaced, turning his attention towards Jordan; knowing full well who would have told the rest of the guys.
It wasn’t that Max would have kept it a secret, but he would have waited to tell everyone in person, at once; simply because he loved getting a reaction.
Under Alex’s gaze, Jordan shrugged; confirming what Alex had already figured out. “Ok first of all, I’m not trying on dresses, and second, lots of guys go to these bridal stores with girls… it’s not weird, or gay, or-”

“Yah, but these guys are also putting their dicks, in said girl. You’re not… and that is weird.” TK threw out, earning grunts of approval. Alex opened his mouth to talk again, but stopped, opting instead to flip through the menu, again.

“What I don’t get…” Kris said quietly, trying to direct his question at Alex only. “… is why you’re going. I mean, you said she’s not a traditional girl, she doesn’t care if her fiancé sees the dress… why doesn’t he go?”

“He’s gone a lot… for… work.” Alex replied, honestly, not bothering to mention that they were in the same line of work.

Max rolled his eyes from beside him. “You’re gone a lot for work, you’re still going. This guy is probably out having sex with all kinds of women… and he’s still gonna get Evan, and you’re still getting suckered into shopping for wedding dresses… something’s not right here.”

"Amen!" Billy yelled in response, leaning over the table to high-five, the re-drunk Max.

“Can we please just drop the subject?” Alex groaned, relief flooding through him as he noticed the waitress making her way over.

“She’s gotta be hot… I bet she’s hot.” Max sighed, his eyes going out of focus as a small smile played on his lips.

Alex tried to ignore them, but he couldn’t help it; having them talk about her and ask so many questions only enticed him to slip further into his mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

July 30th, 2007 (Three years earlier)

Till Summer Comes Around - Keith Urban


“God… I can’t believe you’re twenty-two today… and you’re already balding…” Evangeline laughed as she reached over towards Alex and ran her hand across his buzzed hair.

“Hey now… don’t hate on the hair.” He chuckled, rolling over until he was snuggled in next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled his face into her thick blond hair, breathing her in, trying desperately to force her scent into the deepest part of his memories.
He wanted to ask her whether or not she had everything packed, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to bring them back into the reality of the fact that this was the last day they had together; carefree.

Evangeline broke the spell instead. “So are you heading right to Connor’s house, or are you going home first for a bit?”

“I’m just heading right into Pittsburgh.” He answered quietly. “Our training camp doesn’t start till the end of August but… I figured I’d give myself a few weeks to get settled in and everything.”

Evangeline nodded along with him as he spoke, the movement shaking him slightly. “I can’t believe this is really happening…” She whispered, almost inaudibly as Alex blinked his eyes quickly; pulling her tighter against his chest. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you, Alex.”

“Don’t cry Evan…” He sighed as he felt the tell-tale drop of water leak through his shirt. “Don’t cry… this doesn’t mean we’ll never see each other again.” It couldn't possible mean that, no. When people were meant to be together then they were together, that was the way it was supposed to be.

“No… we'll see each other again, but, it’ll never be the same as it is now. It’ll never be like how it is right now.” For that he had no answer, he could only take a deep breath and try to keep his own emotions in check.
It was usually so easy to stay calm and collected; to be the unmoving, unbendable one - but Evan made it painfully simple to let his walls down.
He wanted to be strong for her, but whenever he allowed himself to wonder where he’d be without her in his life, it was almost impossible to do anything but fall apart.

“Evan look, we’ll talk every night ok… and… you can fly down to see me and I promise that-”

“No…” She said quietly, stopping him. “Don’t make any promises to me that you can’t keep. You've never broken a promise to me before Alex, don't start now.”
He wanted to argue with her, to tell her that loving her forever was probably one of the only promises he’d ever be able to keep for his whole life... but knew that she didn’t need to hear it though - not now - so he let it go.

He had always imagined that Evangeline would be the one girl he’d spend his entire life with; the one that he’d marry and have children with. Grow old with and love for always.
He had never allowed the idea of breaking up, especially not under these circumstances.

Evangeline didn’t believe that it was fair to expect a twenty-two-year-old man to be in a long distance relationship with a girl that couldn’t tell him when she’d be able to see him again.

Evan had her own goals and aspirations; something Alex had always admired about her.
She wanted to be a high school English and History teacher, and she was going to do it. She was going to get her degree and they were gonna live wherever his career took him, together.

Now those plans were on hold; if not gone.

Evan’s mother had fallen ill, the doctor’s said that the outlook wasn’t good. People didn’t recover from ALS.
Alex had said he wouldn’t go to the Burgh, he said he’d stay in Minnesota with Evangeline and her mother, Karen. He’d help her look after her mother and they’d continue their life together this way.
She wouldn’t hear of it though. No, Alex was suppose to be excited about finally getting his foot in the door of the AHL… sure, he wanted to play in the NHL, but he was ok taking it one step at a time.

Evangeline planned on staying in school to get her education degree; but she’d be taking care of her mother too.
She fully believed that their relationship was over, even if Alex believed he was never going to give up. He was going to wait until she was done of school and then maybe, just maybe, fly Evan and Karen up to live with him.

He might even have the money to look after them both by that time; pay Evan’s student loans and cover Karen’s medical bills. No, even though Evangeline was cutting him free, he wasn’t about to let go of her, not without a fight.

“We should probably get going if we’re going to be on time.” Evangeline said, drawing them both out of their quiet contemplation.

Alex nodded, not saying a word as he kissed the top of her head. He sat up and got off the bed; helping her to her feet, as he took her hand.
They walked out of their boxed covered dorm together - the room they had shared for the last three years - for the last time.


“Alright babe… be safe and call me when you get in.” Evan said slowly as Alex wrapped his arms around her. They hugged in the middle of the airport for what felt like forever.
Neither of them wanted to let go, but a woman’s voice sounded over the PA system and they reluctantly untangled themselves from each other. “I’m gonna miss you so much Alex, be safe.”

He nodded, cupping her face in his hands as he bent forward. He brushed his lips against hers, gently building the intensity of the kiss. She sighed against him as his tongue moved into her mouth; until their lips were dancing in unison.
Finally remembering his place, Alex pulled back, giving Evan one last kiss on the forehead. “I’ll call you… give your mom a hug for me… I love you so much.”

“I love you too… bye.”

He turned away from her and headed quickly towards the gate where the last of the passengers were slipping through.
He couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for him - for them. He was the one that was moving to a new place to meet all kinds of new people; but that didn’t matter, he’d always love her and only her.
Even if they were technically ending their relationship, he’d never stop feeling the way he felt now. What were a few simple words and obstacles, when you had destiny on your side?

After a time, once she realized that he was never going to move on, she’d come back. She’d be done of her life in Minnesota and then come to live with him; and it’d be everything they had ever planned, everything they had ever wanted.

It was fate.

9 comments:

  1. I'm so close to tears right now...hopefully it all works out...

    amazing update

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  2. Gah. It was so sad. The saddest line though, "or the fact that the cat he had raised from infancy, liked him less than his friends."

    Good stuff! Can't wait to read more.

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  3. Oh my goodness! Zigh you're going to make me CRY! but I loved it!

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  4. OH!! They were SO cute together.
    He's adorable!

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  5. The sacrifices that people make for each other are so depressing. I have faith in happy endings, though, and I know you won't disappoint me--whether or not that means these two eventually get back together or not.

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  6. Okay... let’s see if I can make this any more succinct today. I probably won’t be able to, so I’m going to stop rambling and get down to business.

    1.) I still love Chubby. That’s a cat though—always snub the ones that love them most. One piece of advice, Goose: a water bottle. Works wonders for feline discipline.
    2.) Oh, Cons... I mean, Max. What a guy. Haha. The whole part the three roomies—it makes me feel bad for Goli, but it’s so funny, too. I love the dynamic between them.
    3.) wignn’ionwkn n. How does Evan go from Alex Goligoski to... Jeff Ca.. Car... I can’t even say his name! I don’t get it, but it makes me so intrigued to learn more. And yeah, the guys would NEVER let him live it down. EVER.
    4.) Again, I love the dynamic he has with the team. It really gives me hope that not all guys are douches. Please, no one ruin this illusion for me!
    5.) “You’re gone a lot for work, you’re still going. This guy is probably out having sex with all kinds of women… and he’s still gonna get Evan, and you’re still getting suckered into shopping for wedding dresses… something’s not right here.” Dun dun dun....
    6.) I don’t know HOW I’m supposed to get through this flashback coherently. It’s sad. Fucking sad. Not because Evan’s a bitch. I would hope that if I were in her position, I’d be selfless too and tell my loved one to go out and live his dream. I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to put HIS dreams on hold for me, especially when it’s such a big dream. I just don’t know how she couldn’t see that after all this time, Alex is still madly in love with her and she’s engaged to someone else. BUT I guess just have to wait and see, and we’ll all find out how it happened.
    7.) “When people were meant to be together then they were together, that was the way it was supposed to be.” Stop making me cry, Zigh! I wish life worked out the way it’s supposed to. Things would be a lot easier than, wouldn’t they? Don’t worry, buddy—I’m rooting for you to get your happily ever after!
    8.) “It was usually so easy to stay calm and collected; to be the unmoving, unbendable one - but Evan made it painfully simple to let his walls down.” I can’t even describe how much I love this line and what it does with me. It’s pure poetry. It strikes this chord with me, somehow, for some reason. It made me stop and reread it, trying to take it in. Knocked me off my feet, but in a good way. This is the sign of a brilliant, brilliant writer.
    9.) “He wanted to argue with her, to tell her that loving her forever was probably one of the only promises he’d ever be able to keep for his whole life... but knew that she didn’t need to hear it though - not now - so he let it go.” Mr. Goligoski, I love you. If things don’t work out with Evan... I’ll be here for you. Just sayin’. /sigh
    10.) “Now those plans were on hold; if not gone.” That broke my heart, for Alex and Evan. Ugh. They deserve happiness. Nothing but happiness. But with the theme of the update, if it’s fate, then it’s not meant to be. And maybe this is fate, telling them that they’re not meant to be. If that is indeed the case, how do I bribe fate into pointing him in my direction?!
    11.) Wanting to pay her loans, support her mother... Ugh, seriously, how perfect can he get? This is amazing, that he wants to do this for her. Be her everything. What a man. Men like this really exist, right?
    12.) The airport hug... that airport kiss.... This is the point that I realized if I were Evan, I would never ever let him go. I would be that selfish.
    13.) I’m not gonna quote the whole end, but sweet Jesus! I don’t even have words for the whimsical, amazing feeling that evokes in me.

    And now I have to wait until tomorrow for more? I can’t believe I have to wait! I want more NOW! But I will be patient because I know it will be worth it!

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  7. Yea, what Zigh said, lol! That was so very sweet, and I can not wait for more.

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  8. Zigh! Way to go and break my heart. I feel so bad for Alex, I just want him to be happy! More than anything he deserves the happiness he wanted so badly with Evan. ):

    Needless to say, this was fabulous.

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  9. Wow, such a care-freE gogo for a moment... i didnt knohow to deal with it!

    loved the chapter, I'm sure i'll love the next few as well!

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