13. Infidel

Song For A Friend - Jason Mraz

Evan had a lot of time to think on the drive back, too much time. Normally she loved the long drive from Philly to the Burgh, listening to the music and daydreaming as she steered the long expanse of highway. Tonight was different, it was dark and cold, and she had too many things on her mind. She didn’t want to be alone, but she couldn’t stay there any longer, not with him.

Her entire body was full of emotions; guilt, sadness, embarrassment, rejection, depression…
There were too many things filtering through her now, too many things to try and sort them out when she didn’t have the energy to even begin to piece things together.

She pulled out her phone when she hit the exit that lead to her neighbourhood. It was just after two AM and Evan figured that Jeff would be asleep, but she dialled his number anyway, just to get the voicemail.
She heard her fiancé’s voice come on the line, announcing that he couldn’t take her call, and she had to take a deep breath; guilt winding her like a sucker punch in the gut. “Jeff…” She breathed, fighting to hold in a sob. “I need you to call me before you come home on Sunday… there’s something we need to talk about and I just… please just call me, ok?” She waited a second before hanging up the phone and dropping it into her lap.

She pulled her car into the drive-way, slowing down as the garage door creaked open. Evan pulled into the empty garage and shut off the engine, undoing her seatbelt and falling forward until her forehead was pressed against the steering wheel.
She took a few deep breaths, trying to make sense of something, anything. It was early Saturday, she wouldn't see Jeff for a full day; she wasn't sure how she'd get through until then...
And just like that, any rational thoughts were gone, as her body went limp and tears began to flow down her face freely, her chest rattling with the force of her sobs.



When Evan rolled over and opened her eyes, she found Jeff standing at the bottom of the bed, watching her. He looked pale and fearful, wan with worry and stress. Evan felt horrible, he was probably paranoid, completely worried for whatever it was she needed to tell him, and the worse part was, he wasn’t worried enough.
She was about to tell him the worse thing that someone could tell someone else, she was about to confess infidelity. “Jeff…” She sighed, sitting up to get a better look at him.

His blond hair was messy, fitting with the fact that he got her message and rolled out of bed, heading directly home a day early. Her message said to call her before he was suppose to be home, but he had to come and see her in person. He knew it wouldn’t be so bad if she saw him in person, he knew he could stop her, if he could just get home in time… “Jeff.” She said more loudly, clearing her throat and motioning for him to sit down on the bed. “We need to talk…”

He nodded, walking stiffly to where she lay, sitting down beside her and exhaling loudly. “I don’t know how to say this and I’m not sure if we can… or if you even want to get through this… Jeff, I cheated on you.”

His body froze. He had been bracing himself for the worse case scenario, he knew what she was going to say, or at least he thought he did; but this was worse, much, much worse. “Who?” Was the first thing that came from his lips. “Who?”

“Alex.” She said quietly, refusing to look at him.

“When? How long?” He continued, the questions coming out quickly. He wanted to know everything, every detail, every fact, and Evan wasn’t about to lie or try and hide anything from him.

“Last night… last night was the only time.”

“It was the only time? Last night was the only time you’ve fucked him since you’ve been with me?”

Evan shook her head, mortified. “No, no, we didn’t… we kissed. I didn’t sleep with him.”

“You kissed him?” Jeff asked quietly, barely able to keep the ’just’ out of his comment. Here he was, fearing she’d been fucking Alex while he was gone, all they’d done was kiss… that wasn’t so bad. He could deal with that.

“Yes…” Evan sobbed, putting her hands up in front of her face, trying to hide from him. Somehow, seeing Jeff again and realizing that he was probably going to leave her, she reaffirmed that fact that she didn’t want him to go.
There was still a big part of her that loved Jeff, and wanted to be with him. The ring on her left hand weighed a million pounds.
She wanted to disappear, fade into the background, have the mattress open up and swallow her whole. Yet that didn’t happen, and she had to look up at Jeff, once she heard him laughing. “Are you seriously laughing? Jeff?” She sighed worried that maybe she’d pushed him off the deep-end, once and for all.

He took a deep breath, shaking his head as he looked over at her, throwing his arm around her shoulder and tugging her towards him. “Come here babe…” He sighed, unable to wipe the smile off his face.
She allowed him to move her, until she was curled up in his lap. “Don’t look so guilty, I forgive you… ok?” She nodded against his chest, unable to believe what she was hearing. “But Evan…” He pressed, causing her to pull away and look up. “No more Alex.”

“What do you mean?” She asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

He gently cupped her face, tiling it towards him as he spoke. His voice was gently, but his eyes were firm, unwavering. “If you want to see him, go out to dinner with him or something… I come too. No more spending all this time with him alone. I won’t tell you that you can’t see him at all… but I obviously can’t trust him. Right?”

Evan nodded slowly, she supposed that she should be happy he wasn’t freaking out or telling her that she was never allowed to see Alex again. It seemed weird, being told what to do by her fiancé, but she had done something horrible, and Jeff was still here, not yelling at her or telling her to get out; he was still here. “That sounds… fair.” She said finally, taking a deep breath, not bothering to tell him that it was her he couldn't trust. Selectively excluding the fact that she had kissed him first.

“Hey…” He whispered softly, causing her to glance up again. Jeff brought his lips down to hers, kissing her gently, his hands beginning to roam along her sides. She felt dirty, slightly awful, wondering if whether or not she should go brush her teeth or wash her face.
Not that she needed to remove Alex from her, but that she should be conscious of Jeff’s hands on her, his lips on hers.
She tried to ignore it, forget about it as he intensified the kiss, reaching down in between them to undo his belt.

He undid his button and zipper next, grabbing onto one of Evan’s hands and pulling it down towards his erection. She wiggled her fingers around until she could find the hole in his boxers.
Pulling him out of his jeans she slid away from him, until she was kneeling down on the floor. Jeff grabbed onto the back of her head and gently pulled her towards him.
Evan opened her mouth and took him in, all the way, running her tongue up the underside of his cock as she grasped onto his muscular thighs with her hands. He continued to push her head down, pushing himself to the back of her mouth as she sucked on him.
She was thankful that from this angle, he couldn’t see the tears beginning to leak out of the corner of her eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Boston and St. John’s - GBS

“Get up Gogo…” Max sighed, finally fed up as he walked through Alex’s darkened room and pulled the blind up. He turned around, grimacing as he caught sight of his friend, laying unmoving on his bed. “Gogo… get the fuck up!” He slapped Alex’s foot, but Alex didn’t respond, he just continued to stare at the ceiling, listless.

Max shook his head, moving back towards the hallway, where some of the other guys stood, waiting. Sidney nodded at him and moved past him, crossing the threshold into Alex’s room. “Alex… come on…” He said softly, not forceful or annoyed like Max, but genuinely concerned. “Look man, I know that this sucks but… she’s with him. You tried… you showed her that you cared but, there’s nothing else you can do… not if she doesn’t feel the same way.”

Alex nodded, allowing his eyes to adjust onto Sidney’s face. “I know…” He said quietly, his voice rasp from a lack of use. “I know but, it seemed so real, you know? I thought I got it… I thought I felt it. Hell Sidney, I did feel it. I know it’s still there and she’s…”

“She’s still with him, I know.” Sidney sighed sadly, sitting down on the bed next to Alex. “You can’t just give up on everything because she’s with him Alex. Everything happens for a reason… and… I believe that you are suppose to be with someone, that we're all made for someone, maybe you just haven’t found her yet.”

“I’m not suppose to be with someone, Sidney. I’m suppose to be with her… I know it.” Sidney shook his head, turning away from Alex. He hated to see his friend like this, but there was nothing any of them could do. It was out of their hands now.

“Please get up Gogo, we have practice soon… maybe being on the ice will make you feel better… take your mind off some things… it couldn’t hurt to try.” Sidney finished, standing up and tossing him a small smile.
Alex watched him, and finally nodded.

He knew there was no point in continuing to lay in bed, crying and feeling sorry for himself. Besides, Sidney was right. Sure, Evan had still decided to go back to Jeff, but at least she still wanted to see him… still wanted him in her life. That had to be better than nothing at all.



“So you made-out? Didn’t her fiancé like… shit a brick?” Amelia giggled as she sat next to Alex in his SUV, they were meeting Evan and Jeff for dinner at a little restaurant in Chambersburg, halfway between Philly and the Burgh.

“Ummm… wow, that’s a mental image I could have done without but, thanks for that…” Alex grimaced as he continued to navigate the road. “But yah… I guess I should be thankful he didn’t go off the deep end or anything…”

“Do you think maybe you should tell her that you’re still in love with her?” Amelia asked, as casually as someone would ask about the weather. Alex still couldn’t get over the fact that he could tell her anything, and she wouldn’t get offended. He thought that maybe telling her about what had happened between Evan and him would piss her off, but it didn’t; instead she’d had the same initial reaction as Max, specifically, to laugh at the Flyers.
He was glad that she wasn’t angry though… and now she wouldn’t be in the dark about tonight.

“I do not… I don’t. I am not still in love with her!” Alex said incredulity, catching sight of Amelia out of the corner of his eye. “And don’t look at me like that!” He complained as she rolled her eyes, laughing.

“Boys…” She muttered under her breath as Alex pulled into the parking spot.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight, it would have sucked to come here alone.” Alex said quietly as he helped her out of the vehicle. They walked into the restaurant together, and Amelia shrugged away his thanks.

“I cannot guarantee that I’m gonna be civil.” She reminded him for the tenth time that evening. “Stupid douche Flyers…”


Alex saw Jeff as soon as he walked through the doors, but Evan wasn’t at the table with him. Still, Amelia saw him too and grabbed on to Alex, pulling him behind her.
They moved to the room until they were at the table, Jeff didn’t say anything until they’d sat down, and by that time, his eyes were focused on Amelia’s large chest; that was only half covered by the black fabric of her v-neck sweater. “So… you must be Amelia…” He said slowly, never looking up to see her face.

“No actually.” Amelia said loudly as Alex took a sip of the water in front of him. “Those are Thelma and Louise, Amelia’s up here.” She quipped, pointing at her face with her thumb.
Alex choked on his water, laughter erupting out of him, which he tried to cover with a few fake coughs.

He composed himself just enough to look up at Jeff, who was now beat red, and draining the glass of beer in his hand.

Yes, Alex was very glad Amelia had agreed to come.