Does the moment make the man, or does the man make the moment?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

33. Home (The End)

Ugh... I can't believe this is over! I also can't believe how quietly it's ending. I feel like after so much, it's going out with a tiny, little fizz... no loud bang or fireworks.
I still hope you like it, and again, thank you, thank you, thank you for reading!

It means a lot to have your support and feedback... Hockey Mom is gonna be starting soon-ish (fingers crossed), and I hope you guys check it out.


Heart Of Life - John Mayer

Alex and Evangeline were slowly pulled out of their unconscious slumber by the sun, as light poured through the window and shone on them in bed. He wasn't sure who had woken up first, but he felt as Evan nestled in against him and buried her face against his warm chest.

“Please tell me it's not time to get up yet,” she sighed groggily, feeling perfectly content.

He absent-mindedly stroked her arm, taking in the feelings of her soft body against his, the two of them surrounded by comfortable blankets.... There was only one way their morning could get any better, and Alex rolled over onto Evan and between her legs.

“Too late. I'm already up,” he replied, his voice gruff from sleep.

She giggled and adjusted her body beneath his, running her hands down his shoulders and kneading his back. “I can feel that,” she teased, referring to his hardening erection.

Alex ducked his head under the covers, searching for the hem of her nightgown. The thin, flimsy material was all that separated their bodies from touching, and he wanted it gone. As he pushed the fabric upward and over her body, he trailed soft kisses between her breasts, the gentle sensations of his lips juxtaposed by the bristly scruff of his fresh facial hair. Once her nightie was discarded, Evan opened her eyes for the first time that morning, sleepily watching as he emerged from under the blankets and bent over her. She closed her eyes when he kissed her lips.

Their liplock became heated quickly, their tongues dancing together passionately. She shivered as her sudden need for Alex overwhelmed her, washing over her like a tidal wave. He felt between her legs, wanting to make sure she was ready, when a buzzing sound interrupted them.

“What is that?” Alex looked around for the source of the noise.

“My phone,” she groaned, rolling to the side as far as she could—considering she was still pinned beneath Alex—and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. “That’s weird. It's the school.”

“Don't answer. You don't work there anymore,” he stated, very matter-of-factly.

“But it must be an emergency or something.” She took the call anyway. “Hello?”

“Evangeline! I'm so glad we got a hold of you! I've got this new student form here, and I'm not sure how to input it into the system—”

Alex snapped her phone shut and tossed it away. “We've got more important things to do.”

He didn't give her a chance to argue as he reached between them and guided himself into her body. Alex watched her face carefully, making sure she was okay. He waited for some kind of signal to know if she was uncomfortable and if he should stop or slow down, but when she smiled up at him laced her fingers around his neck, pulling him down to kiss her, he knew she was more than fine.

Pulling out slowly, almost all the way, he quickly thrust back inside. Evan moaned quietly, arching her back and tilting her pelvis so he could sink himself in deeper. He moved under the covers, keeping up the pace of alternating fast with slow. She enjoyed the sensations that made her feel good, but they weren’t too intense yet.

A voice echoed from up the stairs with through the crack in the door. “Hey Gogo! Goli! Hey! Get up! You gotta come see this!”

Alex groaned, leaning down and burying his face in the crook of Evan’s neck. She giggled, grabbing a hold of his shoulders. “Is that Max?” she asked.

“Yeah. I don’t even know what the hell he’s even doing up this early.”

“Goose! Goose!!"

"Maybe you should answer him," Evan suggested.

He rolled over onto his back and held up the covers. She immediately recognized the gesture and crawled on top of him, straddling his hips and taking him inside her again. Alex adjusted the comforter around her shoulders as she leaned over his chest, neither of them wanting to disrupt the cocoon that engulfed them. Then he dragged his hands down her back until they settled on her ass and helped guide her movements. "I think I'll just ignore him."

Evan kissed along his jawline, following his lead as she swiveled her hips. She ground against his pelvic bone, and it felt like he was hitting all the right places. Her breath quickened and was warm against his neck as she worked and pleased herself with his body. A thin film of sweat clung to their skin.

"Gogo! Are you still sleeping, man?"

Alex didn't hear Max's call from the living room. All he could hear was his heart pounding and Evangeline's final, squeaky moan as they came simultaneously, clinging to one another like they'd never let go of each other. She fell away from him, collapsing on the bed as she panted for air. Then he threw the left side of his body over top of her, nestling in and closing his eyes, already in need of a nap.

“Are you sure that you’re gonna be ok?” Alex asked her quietly as he slung his bag over his shoulder and stopped in front of the door.
It had been almost three full weeks since Evan had moved in, and Alex had finally got the ’ok’ to play. Or course, he was excited to be back on the ice, but this particular week meant that he would be on the ice all over the Western USA. Leaving Evan alone wasn’t something that he looked forward too, yet he was slightly excited; already convinced that coming home to her was going to be the greatest feeling in the world.

She nodded, giving him a small smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Evan went up onto her tip-toes to gently kiss his lips. “I’ll be fine… besides, I’ve still got a million things I need to get caught up on for classes. The only reason that the Education professors let me in this late in the semester, was because I told them I’d be able to make up all the assignments I’ve missed…
And not that I don’t love having you here, but it’s kind of hard to study when you’re… well… distracting me.”

Alex didn’t argue, he only replied with a sheepish grin of his own, before scooping her up in his arms, and kissing her once more.
He set her back on her feet, only after the fourth time that Max blew the car horn from the driveway. “You should probably go…” Evan sighed, glancing past Alex and out the open door, where Max was laying on the horn, once more.

Giving her once last glance, Alex headed out the door, thinking that four days was far, far too long to be gone.


Evangeline-Rose - Marc Broussard

Alex knew that the guys were lucky to get rid of him. Sure, they all talked about their girlfriends or wives from time to time, but they also talked about other things as well. Other things that Alex had lost all interest in.
It wasn’t that he’d become obsessed or was completely at odds with everything else in his life, it was simply the fact that he was excited.

Excited to be at this point in his life, excited that things had worked themselves out, excited that Evan was back in his life completely.
The guys tried not to blame him or get angry; they had collectively begun to treat him like an awkward acquaintance - nodding and smiling until they could find an excuse to leave him.
He was being a little extreme, he knew it, but he figured he had a right to be that way… and his friends didn’t blame him.

As if the past few weeks hadn’t been fantastic enough, Alex was on fire during the games. He had notched four assists and a goal in his last four games; if he kept playing like this, he’d blow his seven game streak out of the water.
In fact, Dan was talking about something that had to do with his excellent play as of late, but Alex could hardly listen.

Even though they were currently on a plane, 35,000 feet above the ground and still an hour away from Pittsburgh, his mind was already home.

Home. The thought made him smile as he stared out the window, his brain already counting down the seconds till the flight landed.

Evan was sitting on the box-seat of the front window; her robe tied tightly around her as she waited for Alex to get home.
She wasn’t normally so needy, but she was desperate to see him.

Even though she’d been busy, every day since he’d left, she was missing him even more than normal. It had something to do - she supposed - with the fact that they had finally just rekindled their relationship, and she wasn’t near ready to calm down the fires yet.
Plus all their time apart had reminded her of one thing; the fact that she still hadn’t apologised for being an idiot.

Chubby jumped up beside her, kneading his tiny black paws on her cotton robe, trying to find a space.
She laid her legs flat, allowing him to climb onto her lap as she stared into the darkening sky. Waiting.
The black cat purred contently as she stroked his soft fur, cooing, “don’t worry baby, daddy’s almost home.”

Even though she was waiting, Evan nearly jumped out of her skin when headlights flashed on her.
She scooted herself off the window seat and let Chubby down on the floor, before dashing off to the front door.

Alex threw it open, just as she was running for it, and they met with a giddy collision; limbs intertwining as their lips danced lightly together.
Putting her hands on his chest and gently pushing him away, Evan broke the lip lock. “Wait, I need to tell you something first…” She said, breathlessly as Alex shrugged his overnight bag off his broad shoulder.
“I just needed to say that I was so stupid… for thinking that you didn’t love me anymore… for thinking that we weren’t suppose to be like this. And I‘m sorry that I picked someone as horrible as Jeff, and that… and that you had to deal with him for so long.” Evan sighed, stroking her gently fingers down the side of Alex’s face as he scooped her up into his arms.

Carrying her over to the couch, he flopped down, allowing her to curl up on his lap.
Without thinking of a response, Alex whispered out softly, “I forgive you.“ She moved to get off of him, but he grabbed out for her wrist, stopping her. He pulled her against him and held her tightly.
His forgiveness wasn’t an emotion, it was a decision. He forgave her, even of the things that weren’t her fault… he knew that Evan, and every emotion she stirred in him, were too precious to let the past destroy them. “Can we make-out now?” Alex smirked, feeling the very thought excite him, causing him to shift uncomfortably.

Evan moved towards him, but found her way blocked, as Chubby tried to climb his way up Alex’s chest.
Alex held his breath as the cat placed both paws on him and stared at him. Without warning Chubby lunged closer, his rough, pink, tiny tongue dragging along Alex’s cheek. “Ugh! What?”
Shaking his head Alex swatted the cat away. “Sorry buddy, I love you and I know that you’ll probably never like me again, but this can’t wait.”

Evan smiled, and laughed, and almost cried - but she did finally kiss him, still smiling. He continued to kiss her softly, slowly drawing her in, and in the wonderful blur of minutes - or hours - that followed, their passion rebuilt.
As their kisses became more heated, his thoughts - any thoughts other than Evan - dimmed into the background and disappeared altogether behind the scent of his faint sweat and her sweet breath… the feel of her weight on his lap, and her hands on his body, and her skin beneath his lips…

His hands finally won their way through her tightly tied bathrobe, until he could feel her thin, bare calves. His fingers traced their way along her silky legs, aiming towards the even silkier skin of her thigh. Evan moved her hips against him, anxiously.

Alex jumped to his feet as the front door banged open and Max and Jordan made their way through.
He set Evan back down on her feet, and glanced at his team-mates.

Eyes wide, he cleared his throat. “Umm, maybe we should take this upstairs…” Alex said quietly as Max and Jordan slowly ambled past them, both of them grinning mischievously. “Think you can wait a few seconds?” He asked cautiously as Jordan finally disappeared onto the second floor.

Giggling, Evan grabbed onto him. They didn’t wait.


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Just In Case...

Just in case you weren't sick of hearing about my trip with Rowan... here's some more pics! (Including the famous 'Crosby Family Dryer' located at the Halifax Metro Centre

Monday, March 15, 2010

Cole Harbour Place!

Alright so... I got into Cole Harbour today with my son... and I ran into Troy Crosby!! Well... kinda. We were both getting gas at the same station, and I pretty much just stared at him like the creeper I am lol.
He seemed pretty chill about it though so, I'm assume it happens quiet often... anyway... I only took a couple pics of the actually 'Crosby' part of the CHP but... here they are!

(That's my son in the first pic... and yes... he did cry lol)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

32. The Little Defenseman That Could

Ok so, I really loved the first part of this... but the second half is kinda weak. Normally I'd want to fix it, but I have so much going on that I just really wanted to get the second last update up and get some of your feedback before I dive into the final one =(
Hope you like it! (Also, I'm going to Cole Harbour Place - aka the Sidney Crosby museum - within the next couple of days so... I'll add some pics whenever I get them!!)


God Only Knows - Beach Boy(Cover)

Evan laid in bed, confused, and concerned, and worried, and stressed, but wonderfully completed. She smiled to herself as she felt Alex’s warm arms, still wrapped tightly around her middle; his muscular body, pressed tightly against her back. She was comfortable and exhausted, but she still couldn’t get to sleep.

If he asked her what she was feeling now, really feeling, she wouldn’t have been able to tell him. Not because she didn’t want to, and not because she was trying to be difficult, but because she just didn’t know.
She was afraid, that much she knew for sure.

Terrified was probably a better word, the more she actually thought of it. The weirdest thing was, she was ok with it.
She wiggled her body a bit, trying to loosen Alex’s hold on her, in order for her to turn over. Moving into him, she pressed her face into his chest, taking a deep breath as his arms closed back around her, securely. “Awake?” The groggy question sounded, his voice rumbling through his chest, causing her to giggle as she felt the vibrations against her face.
Let out a deep, throaty sigh, Alex bent his head forward and kissed the top of Evan’s messy hair. “You got anywhere to be today?”

She shook her head as Alex rolled onto his back, taking her with him. She laid out across his chest and smiled down at him, reaching around until she could run her fingers through the base of his short, brown hair.

“Are you ok?” He asked after few minutes of her soft skin, resting on top of his. She didn’t answer, she just smiled at him, but that wasn’t good enough, not anymore. “Evan…” He began, forcing himself up onto his elbows. “Please say something.”

Evan, completely oblivious to any insecurities that Alex was feeling, was surprised by how anxious he sounded. “What do you want me to say?” She mused, wondering what she could possibly say to him, after a night like that.
She allowed herself to grin at him, but he didn’t relax his muscles, instead, in one swift, sure movement, he flipped her onto her back.

Crawling in between her legs and pressing his warm, taut body on top of hers, he stared at her intently. “Evangeline-Rose, you need to tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

Alex cocked his head to the side, wondering why she had to be so damn difficult, all the time. “Tell me if this is happening, or not happening. I need to know Evan… I love you but, I don’t know how much longer I can do it.
I know that you’re hurting, I do, I understand but… I can help you.” Sighing, Alex looked away from her, feeling immensely guilty. Hadn’t he just told her, days ago, that he was fine with her needing space and time?
He didn’t think that that was a lie, more wistful thinking than anything. He wanted to be stronger, to be able to do that… give her everything, but he just couldn’t sit on the sidelines anymore.
“I’ve said it before, we shouldn’t have broken up, not ever. You know that. I know that you’ve just ended a relationship but Evan, that’s my point, there’s nothing stopping us.”

She didn’t bother to argue, cause really, she agreed with everything that he said, she just didn’t feel like she was the right person for him anymore.
She wanted to be, desperately. She wanted to be perfect, and wonderful, and whole for him… but she wasn’t, and she wasn’t just if she was good enough for him anymore.
They’d both been through so much, had so much change for them in the past few years.
Alex had gone forward with his life, realizing his dream and living it; while she’d been put through the ringer and left, worse for the wear.

“I’m scared.” She said finally, softly, as she felt a single, salty tear, leak from the corner of her eye.
It ran down her cheek bone and dropped onto her ear, where she reached up a hand to wipe it away. “I so, so scared.” Biting her lip, she looked away from him deep, brown eyes, unable to meet their gaze any longer.
“I just… I don’t wanna hurt anymore… I want to be with you but, I don’t know if I can.”

“Why? Tell me what proof you need Evan, and I swear to you, I’ll find it.” Alex countered, pushing himself up higher, until his eyes were directly above hers.

Evan sighed and stared back up at him, a million different thoughts running through her head. “I wish that I was better, perfect, for you… and I wish that I was strong enough to go away and just leave you alone… but I’m not. I’m too selfish for that.” She chuckled sadly, reaching up to tracing her fingers along his muscular biceps.
“I don’t need proof Alex, I already know that it’s you… that it’s always been you.”

Alex tried to be happy upon hearing those words, but he could still feel the hesitance in her words. “You don’t sound so sure about that…”

Taking a deep breath, Evan closed her eyes and pulled her hands away from him, pressing her arms against her chest. “When Jeff cheated on me… it was like I was losing part of my life… and when it was over between us, I lost someone that I cared about… someone that I was willing to spend my life with.
With you… If you ever cheated on me Alex, I wouldn’t lose part of my life… I would lose myself. If you ever left, I wouldn’t just be losing a boyfriend… I’d be losing my best friend, my confidant, the only person that I’ve ever been able to depend on.
I’m not willing to spend my life with you, I have to. I’ve always known that no matter what happened you’d always be there, in some capacity.
I know that it’s not fair. I know it’s not right to put the things that he did on you, but I can’t stop myself. Every time I think I wanna go there with you, I just… I don’t want to lose you forever.”

“Evan, I know that it’s gonna be hard to trust someone like that again, but I don’t care.
Don’t trust me… call me all the time, accuse me of anything and everything, never let me out of your sight! It doesn’t matter!” He laughed. Trying to find words shouldn’t be so hard, not when the things that he had to say were so simple. “You can think anything you want love, because I’m not going anywhere… and you’re the only woman I see, so I’ll never have anything to hide. I know that the only way to prove that to you, is by doing it everyday for the rest of my life… and the funny thing is… that happens to be the same amount of time I plan on spending with you.”

Evan exhaled and smiled up at him, a slight blush rising in her cheeks as he continued to stare down at her, as if she was the most incredible thing in the world.

They were both still exhausted, emphasised by the grunt Alex made as he gave up on holding himself above her, and instead, dropped down beside her. It was day time, but neither of them had anywhere to go and no reason to leave the warmth of the bed, so they didn’t.
“So?” Alex asked after a few minutes of silence, wanting Evan to say what he needed to hear from her. “Can we do this?”

From her comfortable resting place, tucked under his arm, Evan nodded slowly, her fingers tracing the contours of his abdomen as she spoke. “Yes.”

Alex exhaled lightly and tucked his arm around Evan, tighter. He watched until her fingers slowed, then stopped, and her breathing became even.
For once in his life, Alex’s wakefulness wasn’t a curse. He felt like his very skin was glowing with love.
Evan squirmed closer, and nuzzled into his chest, and he inhaled the fresh scent of her hair. After hearing her confirmation and feeling her warmth beside him, it was easy to remember back to the way things had been before; how he swore he’d never feel so good, so accepted in his whole life, but he felt that way now.

She let out a soft snore, and he knew that she was eventually going to drool on him, but he didn’t really care. Drool was somehow acceptably cute when Evan was doing it.

Really, it was no wonder that all his friends in university use to be disgusted with him… he was pathetic.
He didn’t care though, he just felt good when he was with her. Not in the way that he was ‘good’ at hockey, or ‘good’ at being a friend, but he felt like a good man.
She had been hurt, but now he could look at her and tell her that she was perfect, and wonderful… and most importantly, he could make her believe it.
For the first time in years, he was a man with something to give.


Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

When Alex had said that he wanted to be back with Evan, she didn't realize that he meant, immediately and irreversibly.
Before she knew it, she was trying to reassemble the boxes that she had collapsed the day before.
It seemed like such a waste of money, throwing a down payment and rent on an apartment, and then never use it.

She wasn’t sure how she’d pay for two places, but Alex had assured her that he, Max and Jordan had everything under control.
As much as she hated feeling like a freeloader, she couldn’t help but agree; together the boys made more in a day, then she did in five years.

She glanced up at them as that thought filtered through her mind. Really, her soon-to-be roommates were more like giant children than anything. She had a hard time imagining what it was going to be like to stay in the same house as them.
They had never been that bad before, in the few times that she’d been there, but then again she was almost sure that Alex had threatened them. If she was right, their good behaviour was going to end at some point.

As if on cue, Max stopped throwing things into one of the standing boxes, and spoke. “So are you gonna kick Jordan and I out now? I mean, it is our house…” He grinned, cheekily as Jordan spun around, looking slightly terrified.

“What? Why? Why do we have to go? What are we gonna do if we don’t have a house?” He blurted, glancing back and forth between Evan and Max. The other two began to laugh, shaking their heads before going back to their packing.

“I’ll tell you what Jordan, you can stay, but, you’re gonna need to sign something.” She said quickly, taking the opportunity to try and feel out where they stood on the situation.

Jordan shrugged, glancing over at Max. “Like what?”

“Like… if Evan and I have sex in the shower… you can’t talk about it with everyone.” Alex chuckled, walking into the living room with a full box of clothing.

“Ok, just with a few people.” Max made a face as he watched Alex continue across the room with his parcel.

“You can’t talk about it… with anyone…” Evan said quickly, wondering whether or not Max was joking.

“… just maybe a bit? Like just… a tiny bit.”

“No.” She said firmly, searching for some kind of mockery in his voice.

“Fine… just when I’m making fun of Gogo then..” Max concluded, sounding one hundred percent serious; which he was.

Evan‘s reply was louder the second time. “No.”

“… can I think about it… when I’m alone? In my room?”

“Ok Max, that’s gross…”

Max grinned, reaching to give Jordan a high five. “I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

“Ok… so… I think we’re good. Everything else we can come pick up sometime through the week. Essentials are all in the truck, ready to go.” Alex explained as he held Evan’s hand, leading her out of the apartment complex and into the parking lot.

Alex opened the passenger door and helped her in, before climbing into his own side. Jordan and Max were sitting in the back, eating Oreos’ that they’d managed to steal from Evan’s place.
Rolling his eyes, Alex started the truck, giving Evan a small smile before putting it into drive.

They drove towards his house, Evan watching out the window and listening to the mini Oreo-eating-competitions that the boys in the back were making up. A country song was playing on the radio, and Alex turned it up to drown out his team-mates. The man was signing about two people being ’better together’, regardless of what else was going on.
He felt like it fit well, not only for his life, but for the exact moment that he was in. He was definitely better with Evan, and she seemed happy enough to believe that she felt the same; which she did.
“It’s kinda like us, ya think?” Alex asked, giving her a crooked grin as they pulled up to a red light.

She smiled at him, reaching across the cab the gently squeeze his knee. “Of course I do, it’s true… two’s always better than one.”

“Tell me about it!” Max agreed, leaning forward between the seats, his head blocking Alex’s view of Evan. “Now you get Alex and two more roommates! And let’s face it, you’ll have way more fun with Jordan and I… then you would with just him.”

Jordan snorted from the backseat, at the same time that Alex reached out to swat Max’s face away from him. He turned to give Evan an apologetic glance, praying that she wasn’t annoyed or regretting her decision.

But his attempt at chivalry was cut short. Evan was to busy smiling a her new room-mates to notice any thing other than completion.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

31. Fate Knows Nothing

Another one with some help!! =) Thanks, Jay!

I’ll Be Your Lover, Too - Van Morrison(Cover)

“No! NO! It’s too fucking early! Go away… away!” Jordan yelled from upstairs as Alex pushed open the door to his house. He stood at the bottom of the stairs for a second, looking around in confusion as he listen to his team-mate mutter a few more, loud curses. “Go to Max! GO FIND MAX!”

Alex slowly climbed the stairs, wondering why Jordan would be telling a woman to go find max, that was until he saw who was coming out of Jordan’s door.
Chubby made his way through the small opening, before quietly slinky down the hallway.
He stopped when he saw Alex, letting out a quiet hiss. “I know, I know, you hate me.” Alex said patronizingly, as he held up his hands in defeat.

“Gogo?” Jordan called from the darkened door at the end of the hall.

“Yah?” Alex called back, tilting his head as he heard Jordan grunt, roll out of bed and thump his feet down on the floor.

Jordan stumbled through the darkness until he shoved the door open and walked into the dimly light hallway. “Where the fuck were you, dude? We thought you were dead.”

Alex chuckled slightly and held his hands out to the side, showing Jordan that he was still in one piece. “I’m good, I just went to see Evan…”

“How’d that go?” A sleepy Max asked, appearing beside Jordan in the hall, his eyes closed as he stretched his hands above his head.

“Umm… it went.” Alex shrugged, shifting back and forth from foot to foot, awkwardly, before heading back down stairs. “I just came back to shower and change and shit… I’m gonna go back there later.”

“So wait…” Max asked, following him down the stairs. “Jesus, Gogo! You look like hell…” Max interjected quickly, cutting off his original train of thought as he caught sight of Alex in the lightened kitchen.
Alex looked up giving him a sad smile before he put his head back in the fridge. Max cleared his throat, waiting for more information.

Sighing, Alex gave in, closing the fridge and walking to the table to sit down. Jordan and Max followed suite, taking their respective seats around the table as they waited for Alex to explain things to them.
“So…” Alex started hesitantly, wondering what he was even going to say. “I went to see her and she was pretty upset about the fight but… everything’s out in the open now and it seems like we’re good.
I was just gonna leave it at that and kinda do what I had planned on doing… you know? Give her the space she wanted and then try and work something out...”

“But-?” Jordan asked, staring at Gogo in disbelief. If there wasn’t a ’but’ coming, he might have to go across the table and smack some sense into his already injured team-mate.

“But… I had a bit of a revelation and… fuck life. Fuck fate and destiny and all that other stupid stuff that people make up in order to explain why they fail, or to give themselves an excuse to not act.
I’m tired of being here, in this situation and… I’m done.” He finished, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest.

Max and Jordan exchanged a look, neither of them sure what he meant. “So… you’re done with Evan?” Max asked slowly, returning his gaze to Alex.

Alex shook his head, smiling. “No, tonight’s it… I’m gonna make it happen.” Alex stood up from the table and headed towards the stairs. “Anyway, I’m gonna hop in the shower and head to the hospital to get my hand checked out… have fun at practice.”

Max and Jordan watched him go, the latter, painfully confused. “Make it happen…?” Jordan quoted, turning to look at Max. “What does that even mean?”

Max continued to stare at the staircase that Alex had just ascended, a grin spreading across his face. “I think it means that shit’s about to get real.”

“It’s not broken, just some deep tissue bruising. You’ll have to check with your medical personnel, but my guess would be a two or three week recovery period… you’re very fortunate, Mr. Goligoski.” The doctor explained as she re-wrapped Alex’s hand in a new, cleaner covering. “Just make sure that you leave this on and it’ll be good as new in no time.”
Alex nodded his thanks, his mind already gone from the small, white, hospital room.

When the doctor was finished he got up and grabbed is coat, heading back into the parking lot. He’d called Alex before heading into the hospital, only to find that she was getting ready for a job interview, at another school.
It made Alex sad, that even without Jeff she was still sticking to the secretary route… but it also gave him an opening as well.

Evan didn’t plan on being home till supper time, and that gave Alex the perfect amount of time to figure some things out.
He had always heard that it was the moment that made the man. The things just happened and people got what they wanted or needed, by doing the right thing... but was it possible for the man to make the moment?


I Wanna Grow Old With You - Westlife

After a long day searching for a new job, one in the greater Pittsburgh area, Evan stumbled into her apartment. Boxes were still scattered throughout and the lights were on; but that wasn’t what bothered her. There was bustling noise in the kitchen.
She tensed, unsure if she should have been worried about an intruder—it wasn’t until Alex poked his head into the living room from the kitchen that she relaxed.

“Alex,” she greeted with a smile, dropping her purse and jacket by the door. “I wasn‘t expecting to see you here.”

He pouted playfully and tilted his head to the side, his dark brown eyes sparkling with amusement. “It doesn’t sound like you’re happy to see me.”

“Of course I am!” she replied, following him into the other room. “You know I’m always happy to see you. But I mean, why are you here? And how did you get in?”

Alex laughed, going back to the cutting board and resuming chopping the carrots. “I’ve got about two week of vacation time… thanks to your ex’s hard head… so here I am.” He pointed with the knife in his hand to the open bottle of wine on the counter, gesturing for her to help herself.

Evan observed the obvious. “You’re here, and you’re cooking for me. I’ve hit the jackpot! What are you making?” she asked, knowing that anything Alex made was going to be delicious. He’d always been a good cook, and living with Max and Jordan had only served to fine-tune his abilities and skills in the kitchen.

“Um, chicken parm. Pasta. And salad.”

“Oh, that sounds so good. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a good, home-cooked meal.” She stepped behind him and leaned her forehead against the spot on his back between his shoulder blades, her hand coming up to squeeze his upper arm. “You’re amazing, do you know that?”

Alex didn’t respond to that. He wasn’t sure what to say. How could she be so generous with her praise, but not be ready for this? If he were so amazing, why couldn‘t she let things move forward?

When he didn’t say anything, she spoke up again, “Um, not that I’m complaining, because I’m not. I mean, you can cook for me any day.” Changing the subject, Evan shifted back to a previous topic. “You still never told me how you got in…” She moved away from him and toward the wine, pouring herself a full glass and taking a sip.

He chuckled softly. “You always stash a spare on the top ledge of the door frame.”

She groaned and giggled. “Geez, am I that predictable?”

“No. You’re not predictable,” he sighed, feeling a little whimsical and sad. “I’ve just known you forever. I know practically everything about you.”

Evan heard the melancholy in his voice and wondered what he meant. “Practically?”

He sighed again, placing the knife down on the counter and turning to look at Evan. Alex did know her very well—they’d known each for so long, and had been through a lot as boyfriend and girlfriend as well as friends. But the question that had lingered in his mind for years, and now was stuck in the forefront of his mind, needed to be asked, now. “Evan, why can’t we be together?”

She visibly paled as her facial expression fell. Evan was confused enough as it was; her life had been turned completely upside-down. She didn’t need any outside pressure right now from anyone, including the man she considered her best friend, even if she did love him. He wasn’t helping as she was trying to cope. “Don’t do this to me right now, Alex.”

“I think it’s a legitimate question. We’re good together, Evan.... I don’t know why you just won’t give it another chance. We should have never broken up in the first place.”

Evan didn’t bother with words or trying to explain. Her mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts, and she couldn’t think of a thing to say to him. So she took her glass of wine with her as she left and retreated to her bedroom. She sat at the edge of the bed and took a large gulp, trying to clear her mind of the questions, but she was already feeling numb without the aid of any alcohol.

Alex followed her, not wanting to let the subject drop. There had been so many times in the past that he’d wanted to bring it up or he let it slide, but he wasn’t going to do that this time. He took her glass of wine and set it on the nightstand before he gently guided her body down against the mattress. He rested on his left arm and stretched himself on top of her, first kissing her neck.
When she didn’t push him away, he took another liberty and moved his lips up to hers before he pulled away and looked down at her. He wanted to tell her every reason he had for why they should be together, but he decided to show her instead.

His right hand traced the curves of her body over her clothes, his eyes greedily following the path of his hand. Starting with her knee, he dragged his hand up her outer thigh, over her hip, and along the side of her stomach, and then grazed the swell of her breast as he reached up past her shoulder in order to cup her face in his bruised hand, and brush her cheek with his thumb. Next, his good hand continued to move down, trailing his fingers along her clavicle, down the valley between her breasts, across her stomach, and down her inner thigh. He started the upward process again, but this time he reached underneath her blouse and began to touch and caress the soft skin of her stomach.

She fidgeted beneath him, because his touches — even the ones over her clothes — were setting her skin on fire. It wasn’t an answer to his question or a solution to her dilemma, but it felt good, so she went with it. Evan reached out for Alex, feeling his broad shoulders and strong biceps and knowing the latent strength of his muscles. She moved her hands down his chest to his stomach, where she grabbed the material of his shirt and pulled. Alex balanced himself on his knees as his shirt was removed. As the fabric was discarded, he planted his hands on either side of her body and leaned forward, slowly lowering himself over Evan and beginning to kiss her again. He could taste the wine on her breath.

She was the one to initiate the open-mouth kissing by dragging her tongue along his bottom lip and feeling the beginning of a five o’clock shadow. It didn’t take long for him to respond, and their tongues pushed and tangled together in a tug-of-war of dominance. Evan wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rolled over so she was on top and straddling him. Below her, she could feel the movement in his jeans as he started to get hard.

Ever so slowly, Evan pulled her blouse over her head, revealing her torso inch by inch. Alex quickly unwound the wrap from his left hand, stretching it out once, before allowing both hands to explore her flesh as it was exposed to him.
Once her shirt was off, she shook her head as her blonde hair spilled back around her face and shoulders. She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, and he pulled the straps down her shoulders and freed her breasts for her. Then he pulled her down on top of him, making her lean down far enough so he could capture one of her nipples in his mouth, nibbling and sucking as she hummed her approval. He cupped her other breast in his hand and gently squeezed, desire over-riding any discomfort he felt in his knuckles.

Evan threw her head back and pressed her body down against his, ready to take the foreplay to the next level. Alex, however, had other intentions. They rolled back over, and he immediately reached for the button on her slacks and then proceeded to the zipper. He pulled her slacks and panties over her hips slowly, in one fell swoop, as she raised her pelvis off the bed to aid him in his task.

Alex licked his lips as he peered down at the beautiful woman laid out before him; she was now fully naked and looking up at him expectantly as she waited for his next move. He leaned down and kissed her again passionately, pressing his lips against hers with such force that she was sure he’d leave behind a bruise. When he pulled back, he grazed his thumb against her bottom lip. Evan responded by kissing the pad of his thumb and then taking it in her mouth, pretending it was another of his appendages as she sucked and traced the shape of it with her tongue.

He groaned and had to close his eyes, knowing that he had to put an end to that if he was going to make this last. Alex moved his thumb from her lips to that spot between her legs, using her own saliva to facilitate his smooth, slow strokes over her swollen clit. Varying the pressure and direction of his hand, he watched her reactions and facial expressions and listened to the purrs and moans she emitted, confident that she was enjoying herself.

She shifted her body again, arching her back and bucking her hips to intensify the contact. Flashing Evan a sly smile, he withdrew his hand; she whimpered and pouted. “Please don’t stop.”

Once again, he chose actions over words. Alex ducked his head and kissed her inner thigh as he spread her legs and opened her up. His tongue followed the lines of her folds, the rough feel of his taste buds sending shivers up her spine. His lips closed around her clit as he drew the nub into his mouth and massaged it with his tongue.

Instinctively, Evan clutched the bed sheets in her hand as her back shot off the bed and arched. Her breath caught in her lungs as his mouth went to work, sucking, biting softly, flicking, and performing wonders with his tongue and teeth. He pulled back and blew a stream of cold air against her wet skin, making her shiver and quake with need.

Alex rolled his tongue and pushed it inside of Evan, mimicking sex. When she moaned, he flattened his tongue and curled it upward, thoroughly tasting her. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of her thighs, keeping them apart so he had the freedom to move and pleasure her.

He focused his oral attention back on her clit as he brought his hand between her legs, easing his fingers into her wet opening. She moaned and contorted her body as he steadily pumped his fingers into her, his tongue swirling around her throbbing clit. It didn’t take long for her muscles to clamp down around his hand as her body spasmed and she climaxed.

Her orgasm didn’t stop him; he continued his fluid, adroit movements as he felt more liquid spill out around his fingers. As soon as her body relaxed, it began to tense again as she tossed her head from side to side and eked out moans and gasps for air in between crying his name.

After a few more moments, she came again around his hand. Alex slowed his fingers as her heart rate began to even out. Then he pulled his hand away, stroking her hip as he kissed up her torso, over her stomach, past her breasts, and then lavished some attention on the thin flesh of her neck. His hands fumbled as he unfastened his jeans. Alex left the bed and stood, stripping off his pants and boxers and releasing his rock-hard penis.

“Your turn,” Evan said, pushing herself onto her knees and eying his monster cock, presenting at full salute. She wondered how he could function, with all that blood needed to maintain his huge erection.

Alex shook his head, forgoing the words to tell her no. He wrapped his hand around his dick and moved back onto the bed. He kissed her again and then pulled her legs out from underneath her, so Evan fell backwards off her knees and landed on her back. Her laughter was trapped in her throat when she saw the intense look in his eyes as he crawled between her legs and entered her hot, slick opening. She didn’t have to ask him to stop or slow down; there was no discomfort or pain this time as he stretched and filled her.

He leaned down and kissed her breasts as he moved inside of her and made eye contact. At first, he used long, languid strokes. Alex wanted to make sweet love to her and be passionate and gentle—but it didn’t work out that way, for a combination of reasons. She felt so good beneath him, and he wasn’t able to dissociate from his tactile sensations. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out for her sake. Not to mention, Evan was writhing and twisting, moaning and mewing sounds of encouragement and appreciation. She reached behind Alex and squeezed his ass, begging for deeper and harder thrusts by digging her nails into his muscular, skater butt.

Of course, he obliged her. He rested on his knees and pulled her hips toward him, repeatedly slamming into her. A wet sound resounded throughout the room every time their bodies crashed together and his balls slapped against her ass. As much as he wanted to make love to Evangeline and show her exactly why they should be together, this felt right, too—which only reinforced why they belonged together.

As he drove himself into her, over and over, the headboard of her bed began to pound against the wall. Her neighbour banged on the wall and hollered, yelling for them to stop. They ignored him.

Evan let go of his body and threw her hands over her head, like she was riding a roller coaster and plunging down a steep drop. It was kind of like that as she felt her muscles slowly constrict and stiffen until she physically thought her body was going to break in half; then she fell into a fit of shudders, crying out and screaming.

The feel of her body seizing around his was enough to bring him to the brink of his own orgasm. Alex pulled out just in time, shooting white, sticky fluid onto her as he rubbed the head of his against her folds. All he could do was huskily whisper her name, barely loud enough for Evan to hear it.

For a moment, he remained still as his panting slowed. Then Alex reached over to the side of her bed and grabbed a handful of tissue and delicately, lovingly cleaned her off with soft and gentle motions. He tossed the dirty Kleenex in the nearby trash can before he fell on the mattress beside her and pulled Evan into his arms, kissing a spot on her forehead along her hairline.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

30. Forcing Fate

My Best Friend - Tim McGraw

“Hey pretty lady…” Alex whispered as he came up behind a tense Evan. His volume didn’t matter, no matter how soft he was trying to be, she still jumped visibly. “Sorry!” He said, his voice returning to normal volume as she looked over at him, clutching her chest.

“Oh, holy shit, Alex!” She moaned, “you scared the living crap out of me…” Sighing, she glanced beside her and reached for the lamp, pulling the small cord. “What are you doing here anyway?” She asked, motioning towards the TV, where the game still on. “I’ve been worried sick, sitting here waiting for you to come back out… what were you thinking anyway?! I told you to be careful and you… you… you charged at him!
I know he’s an idiot but, you could have seriously hurt yourself.”
She exhaled loudly, resigned, as she swatted a pillow off her lap; the same pillow she’d been squeezing flat, through the entire game.

With the light on, shining brightly around her, this time when she looked up at Alex, she saw him. Really saw him.
She felt the air whoosh out of her body as her eyes grew wide and her jaw fell open. “Alex…” She managed to squeak out, through deflated lungs, as she stood up to face him.

“It’s not as bad as it looks…” He quipped, trying to put on a brave face as she inched towards him. In truth though, he was almost light headed with the stinging after affect of being repeatedly punched.
He tried not to grimace when she reached out to touch his face, but he couldn’t help it.

Evan didn’t know what to do, so she traced her fingers gently along the swollen, tender skin. Her fingers lovingly caressed the bruising flesh of his left eye and cheek bone, working their way down to his now, discolouring jaw line; before moving back up to run over his split lip.
He sucked in his bottom lip at her touch, the sting causing moisture to rise in his eyes as he watched her reaction, carefully.

When she couldn’t hold it in anymore, she gave into the tears, withdrawing her hand from his lips, and placing it on hers. She covered her mouth and looked away from him, trying to move back to the couch.

“Evan… hey…” Alex cooed, grabbing onto her and pulling her back towards him. That turned out to be a mistake though, as she glanced down to feel what was rubbing against her bare arms, scratching and irritating. Alex quickly pulled his hands back, trying to hide the annoying, obvious, wrap that had just given him away.
She glared up at him, and he rolled his eyes, holding his hand back out in front of him. She stared at it for a minute before turning around and walking away from him.

“It’s not broken.” He said finally, not bothering to mention that he didn’t exactly know that for sure yet. “It’s really not a big deal-”

“Do not patronize me Alex Goligoski! Don’t you do that! I’m not an idiot… you’re a hockey player… you need two fucking hands for that and…” She trailed off, jabbing her finger in the air, pointing hastily at his busted hand.

Alex watched her storm around the room, the way she way she always did when she was in a bad mood, only usually it wasn’t because of him.
He let her go about her business, listening to her mutter and watching her walk circles around her new apartment.

Sitting down, Alex watched the rest of the game by himself, not bothering to say or do anything else.
When Evan finally calmed down enough to get the Ben and Jerry’s out of the freezer, Alex knew she was finally approachable. He turned off the end of the third period, not even bothering the check the score, before making his way into the kitchen.

She was leaning back in the chair, her legs up against her chest; her toes hanging over the edge of the chair as she shovelled spoonfuls of Mission to Marzipan into her mouth.

“I’m sorry Evan, please don’t be mad at me.” He said simply, pulling out an empty chair and dragging it towards her. He sat down, grabbing her feet and pulling them towards his lap.
He wrapped the long fingers of his good hand, around her foot, gently massaging the bottom with the padded part of his thumb.

She continued to eat as she stared at his hand. He took that as a cue to continue, running his hands along every part of her foot, alternating his movements between hard and soft.
Evan finished the container, feeling sorely disappointed in herself for eating the entire thing. She dropped her spoon into it and set it down on the table gently, before retracting her feet. Placing them on the floor, she met Alex’s gaze for the first time since her blow up.

“I’m not mad… I just wish you didn’t do that. I asked you to do one thing for me - stay safe - and you couldn’t do that.
Jeff’s a lot bigger than you…” She began to explain, laughing slightly as Alex raised his eyebrows at her, doubtful. “I don’t mean like that, you perv.” She shaking her head as she felt the smile spread across her face. “I meant height and weight wise… plus, he’s been in fights before.
You might be a protector Alex, but you’re not a fighter. I just don’t want to see you go down to his level… you’re better than that. You’re better than him.
I’m just sorry that this happened to you.”

“It wasn’t your fault Evan! I didn’t feel the need to punch Jeff because I feel sorry for you. I do, I mean, I hate what he put you through… but that wasn’t my only reasoning.
First off, I needed to do that for me. I’ve needed to do that for a really, really long time… and I figured, if you get to punch Richards, I deserve to punch someone too.” He smirked, grinning even more when he saw that he was having the right effect on her. “And secondly, Jeff had his chance, I told him if he fucked up again he’d be sorry… I wasn’t about to eat my words.”

Evan sat for a minute, nodding as she stared off into the distance, her eyes zoned out. “Wait… when did you tell him that?”


“When did you say that to him? After you found out he’d cheated on me?” She asked slowly, her giant blue eyes beginning to cloud with confusion.
Alex nodded slowly, still not following her. “But when did you talk to him after that? You never told me you talked to him…”

Alex stopped nodded, his mouth falling into a small ’o’ when he realized the issue. Swallowing his good-sense and ignoring the small voice that was screaming at him to cease and desist, he told her the truth. “That’s because I didn’t talk to him about it, after you told me… I said it to him before you told me…”

“Alex, that makes no sense. How could you tell him something that you didn’t know…? Oh…” She said, the last word coming out as a quiet breath. “You knew…”

“Evan, let me-”

“Was it like a hockey thing? Did everyone know? Did he fucking tell everyone
?! Did everyone know but me?” She wasn’t asking, she was begging, pleading with Alex to tell her that she was wrong, that that wasn’t the way it had happened.

He reached out for her, gently grabbing her arms and standing up; pulling her up beside him. “It wasn’t like that… it was a secret, he didn’t want anyone else to know but Richards.
But Evan, I did know. Max overheard them talking and found out that Jeff was cheating on you… I know that I should have told you right away but… you loved him so much. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, so I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt… told him to straighten up or I would tell you.”
She began to sob and Alex took a deep breath, trying to control his own emotions. “Then I found out that he was still doing it, so when I was at your house that weekend, I searched through his pockets until I found proof. I was the one that put the hotel receipt on the floor…”

Evan inhaled sharply, pulling back to look up at Alex. “That was you? But… why didn’t you just tell me?”

Alex shrugged sadly, trying to figure out how to explain this to her, how could he make her see that he was just an idiot when it came to her. He didn‘t do anything to hurt her or try and make things worse for her, every he did, he did because he wanted her to be happy. “Because… I was chicken shit… I thought you wouldn’t believe me, and then Max said-”

Evan snorted through her tears, loudly. “Max said? You did something because Max said to?”


Max?” She said again sceptically, the hint of a smile playing on her lips, “since when have you ever listened to Max?”

Alex shook his head slowly, tilting it to the side as he regarded her; the fingers of his battered hand running down the soft skin of her jaw. “I’m not sure, all I know is that I love you so much I can’t think straight.
When you‘re on my mind… nothing makes sense but, everything seems like a really good idea… and you‘re always on my mind.” Embarrassed, Alex looked away, but not before adding. “I guess technically that does make it your fault then… if you’d stop being so god-damn amazing, I’d be able to make better choices.”


Half Alive - Secondhand Serenade

Alex and Evan had stayed up late, talking like old times. Their conversation had drifted from the painful incidents of the last few months, back to a more innocent, easy time.
She had fallen asleep in his arms on the couch, sometime around six in the morning, but Alex couldn’t sleep. Instead, he carried her to her room and laid her down on the bed gently, kissing her forehead before he headed for the door.

He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he just needed to stretch his feet and do something physical, something that didn’t require a lot of though. Right now, Alex didn’t want to think.
It was hard to lay there with her, knowing that everything was out on the table now, nothing was left separating them; but they were still separated.

He just didn’t get it, what else could he do? If she really wasn’t upset about him punching Jeff, then that had to mean she was past him, didn’t it? And if she was, then why didn’t she want to be with him?

Alex didn’t even realize where he was until he put his SUV into park. He couldn’t even remember getting in the vehicle, let alone driving to the arena.
Glancing at the clock he wondered if it would even be open, it was only 6:48 in the morning.
Shrugging he opened the door and swung his feet down onto the pavement.

Practice wasn’t till nine, but that didn’t matter, he was sure he wouldn’t be practising anyway, maybe he could get in for a skate. Anything to take his mind off of… well, everything.
Deciding to test his luck, Alex headed into the rink, happy to find the back door open.

He passed a janitor on the way in, who nodded at him, not concerned by his early appearance at all.

He headed into the locker-room, flicking on the light, and flooding the dark room with a neon illumination. He quickly changed into his skates and grabbed a stick; for balance more than anything, he wasn‘t expecting to be able and hold it properly for a while yet.

Alex hopped out onto the ice, surprised to see that some of the lights had already been turned on. He skated towards centre ice, with his head down, when he heard the slap of a puck.
“You’re up early, St. Pierre… Or should I call you Matt Hughes? I don’t think St. Pierre gets hit quiet so much…” Coach Bylsma laughed, skating down the ice to meet Alex.

“I didn’t take you as an Ultimate Fighter fan…” Alex laughed back, not offended by the comment at all. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Dan countered, grinning as he glanced back down the ice at the empty net, full of pucks. “Just fuckin’ around really… I like to get out here sometimes before you guys… relive the glory days, or whatever they were.”

“Why’d you stop playing?” Alex asked as he glided behind Dan, stick still in hand.

“Knee injury. Missed thirty-one games in my second last season… and to be honest, I wasn’t the best player. By the time I was ready to come back and try again, they’d already forgotten about me.” He said, trying to sound like it was just something that’d happened, not anything that mattered, or still hurt.

Alex nodded, not pressing him. “You’re kinda like Coach Bombay… was that his name? The guy from the Mighty Duck movies?”

Dan laughed. “Yah… thanks… I think.” They stopped talking and skated around a bit; one trying to remember what it felt like to be alive, one trying to forget.
It was a half hour before they spoke again. “Thought you were suppose to be with a lady friend…” Dan asked, trying to appear nonchalant.

Alex shrugged. “Yah… it’s just, I don’t know.” He thought about leaving it at that, but decided against it, it wasn’t like he couldn’t trust his coach to keep something confidential.
“Did you ever want something so bad… but sometimes it feels like, it just wasn’t meant to be? Like something bigger than you, just kept fucking everything up?”

“Like fate?”

“Yah… like fate. Like fate doesn’t want you to have something, so no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough?”

Dan sighed, skating closer to Alex. He came to a stop in front of him and contemplated his words. “I know what you mean, I think. I felt that my whole career.
I spent my life wanting to be good enough and it didn’t happen. But now here I am… maybe I wasn’t a game seven hero back in the day, but I’m a Stanley cup coach now.” He grinned, patting Alex on the shoulder. “Sometimes, what we think we were meant to do, isn’t right. Sometimes you just have to accept defeat and take a step back, look around and find the thing you were meant for.”

Alex shook his head, it made sense for hockey, but he wasn’t talking about hockey. “But I don’t want to. I’m suppose to be with her, I already know that… I just can’t get it there.
It’s not like hockey, it’s not like I don’t have the ability… I just can’t connect the dots. I can’t complete the picture.”

Dan smiled, a warm, fatherly kind of smile. “Fate is just that… Alex, fate. Fate is when things work out they way they’re suppose to. You can’t change it or stop it… fate just happens. No matter how bad you want something… sometimes it just doesn‘t work out.
That doesn‘t mean you shouldn‘t try… do try. You always have to try… but sometimes… you just aren‘t meant for something.”

Alex started to turn, exhaling loudly. “Maybe, or maybe fate doesn’t just occur on it’s own. Maybe you need to make your own fate. What if, fate is really just, what’s suppose to happen… maybe sometimes fate needs to be forced onto the right path”

Dan gave a sad chuckle, watching Alex skate back towards the opening in the boards. He wanted to call after him, trying to find the words that would make Goligoski a little less sad. Finally he gave a resigned sighed. “You can’t force fate Alex.”

Alex turned back around, a genuine smile spreading across his face as he coasted off the ice. “Watch me.”

Monday, March 8, 2010

29. Rise of the Underdog

Maybe it was the song choice for the end of this one… or just that today was randomly fantastic… but I’m really giddy about this update, and I don’t know why lol. Hopefully you guys like it!!

And as per a few comments on the ‘I suck’ post… the next story that’ll be starting within the next month, is located

White Liar - Miranda Lambert

This was it, her sanctuary. She couldn’t believe how quickly they’d found it, and how quickly Alex was able to secure it for her.
Max and Jordan had made a stop off at Jeff’s house to get the rest of her stuff, without incident; mostly due to the fact that Jeff’s mom had been there at the time.

But now everything she owned was boxed up, scattered around her new loft, her new home.
It was only a fifteen minute walk from Alex’s, and even though she wasn’t sure how she felt about that right now, she was sure she’d come to appreciate it eventually.

She was looking forward to spending the rest of the day and night getting everything unpacked and set up. It was a nice distraction from the game that would be going on that night. The Flyer versus Pens game, to be exact.
Evan was almost positive that Alex could feel her unease about the whole thing. He hadn’t even asked her to go to the game, something he would normally always do.

Evan wasn’t disappointed or upset about that in anyway, if anything, she was happy she didn’t have to try and find a way out of it.
So, as it was, she tried not to think about the game, or Jeff, or the fact that he’d be in the same town as her soon…

The landlord had been dropping in periodically throughout the remainder of the day, switching light bulbs and making sure she was getting settled ok. Which she was.

She had the kitchen and den completely set up by supper time, but she didn’t stop to eat. Instead she moved into the bedroom and began to put some sheets on her bed and hang a few pictures.
She had just finished the last one when the phone rang and her landlord, Lou, knocked on the door - again - at the same time.
Evan grabbed the newly connected phone, not bothering to check the ID as she headed towards the door, only Alex had the number. “Hi…” She drawled, a small grin appearing on her lips as she crossed the kitchen.

“Hey, just wanted to see how you were making out…” Alex breathed into the phone, commotion in the background around him; the kind only fully-grown, immature men can make.

“Good, good. Kitchen and den are done, and…” She said as she pulled open the door and stopped. “Umm… I-”

Jeff reached out and pulled the phone from her numb fingers, hitting the flash button and disconnecting Alex. Jeff and Evan stood there staring at each other, for an incomprehensible amount of time. “What the fuck is this?” He finally asked, his eyes darting into the warmly, decorated room behind her.

“It’s my apartment… wait… why are you- how did you- ?”

“Bank account. Your money is still in the joint one so I was notified when you took a bunch out and spent it at some realtor place. I went in, asked them about it, and they gave me this address.” He explained calmly, stepping into the entryway and moving past her. “So why are you here?”

“… they gave you my address?” Evan finally snapped, completely sure some kind of civil right had just been violated. A confidentiality agreement, at the very least.

“Why aren’t you living with him?” Jeff continued, turning around to face her.
At first Evan wondered if she should scream, or get out the apartment and away from him, but he appeared composed, so she didn‘t.

“Because…” She finally answered, for lack of anything else to say. She didn’t exactly feel like having this conversation, and she didn’t feel like Jeff deserved the answer. “Is there a reason why you’re here?”

“Yah this…” He explained, going back out into the hall and retrieving a large box. He carried it in and set it down on the kitchen floor, at her feet. “Just more random stuff I found, and figured you might want.”

She nodded, not bothering to look inside as she folded her arms across her chest. “That was nice of you… but I think you should go.” She tried to sound civil, not wanting to flip out and cause a big scene; there was always the change that Jeff would lose it at that.

“Whatever… I just came to drop your shit off.” He turned around and headed for the door, not stopping until his hand was on the doorknob. “You know what? I was gonna beat the shit out of him tonight… until I saw that you were living somewhere else.
I almost change my mind… thinking… he’s already been put through enough by you, but… I think I will anyway, just cause.” He laughed, loudly, causing Evan to cringe. “I mean, what a sap… guess that’s what it means to be an ’underdog’. Spending how long sniffing around you and never getting more than a fucking peck. Idiot.”

“For your information he did get more than a peck. We had sex. In your shower… that night after I left you in the hotel with Sarah Hartnell…” Evan said, hissing the name.

Jeff visibly deflated for a full minute. His entire body, sagging where he stood as his eyes zoned out of focus.
Evan stood still, waiting for him to explode, but it never came. When he finally stood up straight again, his eyes were blazing and his jaw was locked.

She stared back at him, her courage dwindling as he took in a giant huff of air.
Evan stood frozen. Her heart beating so hard she could feel it in her throat, as she tried to remember why she'd just said that. She watched with glazed eyes as Jeff spun, slamming the door behind him loudly.

Finally finding her legs, she turned and moved towards the phone. “Alex?” She breathed, after dialling in his number.

“Hey, disconnected or something?” He asked, not at all worried. Not at all aware that Evan was about to have a nervous break down.

She took a deep breath before diving into what had just occurred. “No, no, Jeff was here… he knows where I am cause the landlord told him but… now he says he’s going to beat you up tonight so please, please, please, be careful. Please, please, please?” She begged, hopping slightly on her feet.
She pulled in another breath as she waited for his answer, her air completely spent.

Alex was quiet, his fingers going white around his cell phone as he clutched it against his ear. “He was there?” He managed to ask quietly. “Where is he now?”

“He just left… he was going to the rink.”

Alex took a deep breath, when he spoke again he sounded more composed, but also more determined, something that wasn’t lost on Evan. “Alright look, I’ll just… I’ll call you after the game, ok? Please make sure you deadbolt the door though… in case he comes back.”

Evan tried to speak, tried to tell him not to do anything bad or get into trouble, but she couldn’t get a word in. By the time Alex was done talking, he’d already hung up.


Underdog - Spoon

“I don’t know… she seemed like a pretty cool girl, so I figured, whatever… plus if Gogo’s with Evan you could probably fuck Amelia, she seems nice.” Jordan was saying to Max, as they walked into the locker-room, both of them oblivious to the tension rolling off Alex.

“I’ll have to ask him if she’s any good I mean… yah, she’s nice but… I can’t exactly put my dick in a personality.” Max shrugged, glancing around the room to see most of the guys getting into their gear.

Alex probably would have been angry to hear Max talking about Amelia like that, if he had of been listening. Not that he had a problem with someone else wanting to sleep with her, they were over; it was more the lack of respect when he did so. Regardless, Alex was so caught up in what had just occurred, he didn’t notice.

He clutched his phone in his hand, staring at the blank screen as he re-ran Evan’s words in his head. He was furious.
Beyond furious.

Alex was so angry he couldn’t even comprehend it, couldn’t make his body do a single thing, besides sitting still, holding his phone.
He sat in silence, quietly feeling the rage burn inside of him, until Max sat down next to him; slinging an arm around his shoulder. “Hey Gogo, I need to ask you something…”

On hearing someone speaking to him, Alex snapped his head up, pushing his half-dressed body off the bench, until he was teetering on his skates.
He slung his arm back and propelled it forward, sending his phone rocketing across the room, until it hit the other wall.
The impact from the concrete bricks, caused the phone to smash into several different pieces; the sound of breaking plastic drawing the attention of everyone in the room. “All you had to say was no!” Max shouted defensively, standing up and take a few steps away from Alex.

“What?” Alex spat, turning around the stare at Max. “No to what?!”

“Umm… Ce qui? Je ne parle pas anglais!”

Alex spun back around, not really caring about Max or anything he had to say at that moment. He headed towards the locker-room door, making up his mind as he moved; each foot step reaffirming the decision that had already formed in his head.
He was reaching out to push the door open when it swung in towards him. “Where ya going Alex? Get your helmet on… we’re on the ice boys. Max! Why aren’t you dressed yet?” Their coach shouted as he pushed Alex back towards his stall.

“Jordan’s not dressed either!” Max said quickly, pointing over at the pouting, blond man.

“Tattle-tale…” Jordan muttered under his breath as he grabbed his gear.

“Where were you going Alex? What’s going on?” Kris asked quietly as he followed Alex back out into the hallway, towards the ice.

Alex shrugged. Normally he wasn’t such an ass to Kris, but he didn’t want to be talked out of his plan. He turned back to look at the quiet French-man, letting out a loud sigh before speaking. “I’m gonna kick his ass… end this shit, once and for all.
Even if she doesn’t want to end up with me, even if all of this was for nothing… he deserves his, and I’m gonna make sure he gets it.”

Kris mulled his words over for a minute, before giving a slight inclination of his head. “Makes sense, I mean, I assume he probably has the same idea… you know? This has all blown up and now, there’s not really a whole lot left to say.”

Alex stared at him, before turning back around. “He’s got no idea what’s coming Kris.” Alex said quietly, his eyes focused on the ice as the Penguins moved towards it. “He’s about to witness the rise of the underdog.”

Jeff Carter scored for the Flyers, within fifteen seconds of the first puck drop. Alex was furious, but there was nothing he could do about it. He stood beside an amused Jordan Staal, as the Pen’s announcers, named Carter with the goal, Scott Hartnell with the assist. “Why the fuck are you laughing Jordan!?” Cookie snapped, smacking him on the back of the head, hard.

“Carter scored with an assist from Hartnell… does anyone else find that funny?” Jordan asked, incredulity, as he glanced up and down the bench.

Sidney sighed, shaking his head. “Not really… they just scored…”

“Well, yah I know but… in real life Carter scores with an assist from Hartnell too, get it?” Jordan laughed, glancing around again, at his team-mates as he shoved his padded elbow into Alex. “Ugh, you guys suck…” He sighed as Hartnell skated by the bench. “Hey Hartnell! Your wife’s a slut!”
Hartnell stopped, turning around to stare at Jordan. “Yah that’s what I said…” Jordan jested, shrugging in a ’so what’ manner.

Alex shook his head and waited for his turn on the ice. It was three shifts before he was able to get out at the same time as Jeff.

He skated towards the face off, standing on the outside of the puck-drop, as Jeff moved in to take it with Sidney.
Sidney won, slapping the puck back to Alex, who sent it flying back to Sidney once he was free.

Alex didn’t even follow the full journey of the puck. By the time he heard it connect with something, his eyes were already focused on Jeff; who was staring back with just as much hatred in his eyes.
Skating full force towards him, Alex completely forgot about any hockey game, it wasn’t even till the crowd began to erupt around him, that he even realized he had lost his gloves and stick.

Jeff was shaking out of his when they collided. Alex attacked with a fierce gusto. His arm pumping towards his target; hitting flesh, teeth, helmet, jersey - anything that he could reach.
He tried to dodge any blows that Jeff directed at him, but he was too focused on the attack, too focused on all the pain and rage and hatred that was exploding out of him.

Alex could feel the stagger pain, each time Jeff’s fist connected with his face; each blow tenderizing the skin, until the hits became almost unbearable. But Jeff was experiencing the same pain; only where he was beginning to get tired, Alex was only becoming more and more infuriated.
Jeff was fighting to defend himself, Alex was fighting to defend the woman he loved; there was a difference.

Finally Jeff tried to take Alex down, grabbing onto him with a half hug and leading him down to the ice, but that didn’t stop him. Alex fought to free his right hand, pulling it out and resuming his full pummel of Jeff’s face.
It wasn’t until Jeff turned away that Alex felt a crunch and allowed out his first muffled grunt of pain; as his fist ricocheted off Jeff and slammed into the surface of the ice. “FUCK!” He screamed, the ref and linesmen closing in on him. He threw one last punch with his mangled hand, this one drawing a large splatter of blood from his opponent.

Alex couldn’t even comprehend what had actually just happened, as he allowed himself to submit to the pain. The only thing he could make sense of was the sound of the screaming fans, and one voice that stood out the most. “I fucking called it! I said that he was gonna punch Carter in the face tonight! I so fucking called! GOGO!!” Rupper was screaming, as the rest of the guys leaned out of the bench, slamming their sticks along the panel.
Alex tried to look happy as he came off the ice past them, but it may have appeared more as a grimace.

His hand was fucked. “Jesus! Why couldn’t you stop punching him after it was a bloodied mess, Goligoski?!”

“I don’t know…” Alex sighed, wincing as Jon, the team’s trainer, wrapped it.

“Well you need to go to the hospital. This needs an x-ray. I don’t think it’s broken but… fuck.” Alex sighed again, unable to really care about what was going on. He could hear the guys coming off the ice for the end of the first period, but he was already changed out of his gear, he knew he wasn’t going back on any time soon.

He got off the examination table and pushed himself away, before Jon could stop him. Alex opened the door, getting ready to apologise for his behaviour, for getting a penalty, and for hurting himself enough that he was going to miss some games.

But he was drowned out by the sound of Jordan before he could form a word. “Gogo! You’re my fucking hero!”
Alex stopped, looking around in surprise as the guys moved in on him, slapping him with congratulations and excitement.

“What did they say about your hand?” Sidney called, the only one not in the circle surrounding him.
Alex moved up on his tip-toe’s trying to see around his taller team-mates.

“It’s busted pretty bad, I’m done for tonight, for sure.” He explained, hoping his captain wouldn’t be too angry.

Sidney nodded, looking more resigned then upset. “Alright well, what are you still doing around here? Go get your woman.” He laughed, nodding towards the exit.

Without another word to anyone, Alex took off down the hallway. Even with the increased speed, his confident swagger was visible. He turned around, his feet never stopping as the team-mates that had congregated in the hallway, all of them smiling as he turned around and ducked his head, pushing the door open with his hip. He allowed it to blow open all the way, the metal exterior colliding with the side of the building; resounding in a loud crash.

Heading out into the night towards his car, he felt lighter than air. His left hand was starting to sting horribly now, but he didn’t care in the least bit; after all, it wasn’t a battle scar, it was the price of victory.
At that thought, Alex balled his bruising, busted hand into a fist, and threw it up above his head, his grin threatening to take in his ears.

I suck, I know...

I'm SO SO SORRY, that it's been forever since I updated... I PROMISE I will do everything in my power to have the next one up tonight.

I've been doing thinking as to why it's getting so hard for me to keep writing, and I realize it's because I only have 5 updates left, and it's making me really sad =(

Anyway, update tonight... please don't hate me!! lol

Thursday, March 4, 2010

28. Week Away

I'm sorry guys, this update is horrible... I just wanted to get it up so that I could move on to some better ones lol.

Walking Away - Kina Grannis

Evan sat alone on the bed, perched on the end, nothing but a single sheet wrapped around her naked form. She stared out the window, as the wind whipped through the downtown streets of Pittsburgh. She felt as lost and used as the garbage that whirled around the pavement and concrete, swept uselessly aside by the blustery weather.

No, perhaps ’used’ was too strong of a word. No one had used her, just made a fool of her, and broke her heart.

She hated the way she felt now, what was she supposed to do? She loved Alex, she did, but she wasn’t ready for this. It probably made no sense to other people, but it did to her.
Even though she’d already had a relationship with Alex, and knew how wonderful and perfect he was, she still wasn’t ready.
She needed to retreat into seclusion, nurse her wounds, and find her feet again. She needed to do all that on her own though.

Evan wanted Alex, that much was obvious, but she couldn’t keep letting him wait for her. She had to take the big steps and learn to stand again on her own, then and only then, could she come back for him. But this… all of this had to wait, she was just too hurt and exhausted to truly figure anything out.

It wasn’t that she thought Alex would break her, or hurt her like Jeff; at least, she was pretty sure he wouldn’t. She hated that, having any doubts where Alex was concerned, but she supposed that was what betrayal did to someone. You always expected the worst from people, even the ones that didn’t deserve your suspicion.

As if on cue, the door opened behind her, and Evan looked back to see Alex standing in the opening, a wooden tray of food in his hands. “Breakfast?” He grinned sheepishly, motioning towards the steaming plate of food with his head.
Evan smiled back at him, watching as he moved towards her, sitting down on the bed and staring at her intently. “Hungry at all? I mean… it’s probably not that good but…” He shrugged, clicking his tongue against the top of his mouth as he looked away, awkwardly.

“Don’t say that… you’re a better cook than I’ll ever be. And I’ll eat it in a minute but… I… I think we need to talk first.” She said quietly, watching Alex as he set the tray on the floor, before looking up at her.
He nodded and pulled out the folded paper that he’d been holding under the tray. “What’s that?” She asked, and he held it out, showing her the collage of pictures on the front of it.

“I was doing some thinking and… I realized that you’re not going to stay.” Alex said simply, shrugging his shoulders like the idea didn’t bother him. “I mean, if I sat here and begged you, you probably would but…
I guess I just know you too well. I was thinking about it a lot and, I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.”
Alex reached out, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear before continuing. “I love you… I always have, that’s not going to chance because you need to figure things out...” He bent forward, setting the tray on the floor and sitting back up, taking her hand in his.
“Just come back to me when you do.”

Evan shook her head, biting her lip as she stared at him lovingly. “I’m so sorry… you don’t deserve this.”

“Just tell me that you love me and that you’ll let me help you, if you need it.”

She reached out with her free hand, dragging her hand along his bare chest. “I love you.”
Ducking his head down, he brushed his lips against hers, intensifying the kiss until he was crawling on top of her.
She moved with him, allowing herself to fall back against the bed as he shifted his body above hers.

It wasn’t until Evan’s legs, still twisted in the sheet, began to wrap around his back, that he pulled away, still smiling at her. “Sorry… got a little carried away… you should eat though.” He said, reaching out and pulling Evan back up into a sitting position. “Oh, and this!” He exclaimed, grabbing the paper back up and handing it to her.

It was a realtor listing of the area, houses, apartments and lofts for sale in the nearby area. She glanced at the paper closer, and saw a few penciled circles around some of the places.
“Kicking me out?” She quipped, her eyes never straying from the black and white images in front of her.
Alex didn’t bother responding, instead, he dropped his arm around her shoulder and tried to be positive.

“We can go look whenever you want but… I’d really like it if you stayed in Pittsburgh.” He said quietly, looking slightly guilty as he did so.
He didn’t want to force her into anything, but at the same time, he knew he needed her close.

“No, that sounds good to me…” She agreed, resting her head on his shoulder as she let out a soft sigh.

Even though she’d just gotten up, Evan was exhausted. She gave Alex a quick kiss on the cheek before crawling to the top of the bed and pulling the sheets up around her. Shaking his head, Alex crawled after her; any ambitions of attending the optional practice, forgotten.
He pulled back the covers and joined her, flipping them back up until they were completely submerged in the blue sheets.
Alex pushed his arms out in front of him, creating a make shift tent as he glanced over at her. “Nice tent.” She yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

“S’not a tent…” Alex mumbled into the thick, warm, air that clung around them. “I built you a castle… you can just live here, and be queen.” He quipped, glancing over at her.
Her eyes were closed, but she smiled in spit of herself.

“No one wants to be a queen… they’re old and ugly. I’m a princess.” She explained, her voice becoming subdued as she began to drift into unconsciousness.

Alex grinned to himself, scooting closer to her as her breathing became steady. He hadn’t been that tired, but wrapped in this warm cocoon with her, was having a hypnotic effect on him.
He lowered his arm, draping it over her sleeping form as the blanket gently dropped down around them.

Alex tried to remain positive and keep himself optimistic, as far as their relationship was concerned.
For some reason though, it wasn’t that difficult. Maybe he just knew what it was like to feel like you had lost everything, or maybe he was just extremely in tune to what Evan needed the most. Either way, Alex could completely understand why she had to figure things out herself.
She’d just been hurt by someone she’d trusted and tried to be with. If she went right into another relationship and something happened, where would she be? How do you still stand after being battered twice with no recovery time?

He, of course, knew that he’d never do anything to hurt her, but that didn’t change anything.
He just kept smiling, knowing that whatever happened, she’d never be back with Jeff… and she knew now, knew for sure, that Alex loved her more than anything.
All that was left to do now, was let her walk away.

Part of him was hoping that he wouldn’t have to wait too long, but the other half of him tried not to think of it.
He knew Evan well enough to tell when she was hurting, but even he couldn’t conceptualize just how betrayed and let-down she probably felt.
He closed his eyes and nestled his face into the top of her head, pulling her close against him.


Just To Be The Next - Mr. Big

The guys left Tuesday for their Canadian road trip, leaving Evan to look after the house, and take over the role of Chubby’s caretaker.
Normally Alex left her with the elderly lady across the street, but he was at least glad that Evan wouldn’t be totally alone now.

The guys, for the most part, weren’t stupid. They could put two and two together, and assumed that given Evan’s ‘episode’ in the locker-room, and the fact that she was now living with Alex, Max and Jordan; it was a good indication of her relationship status with Jeff.
Something that the guys felt the need to talk about, the whole trip.

“So when do we play the Flyers next cause… that’s gonna be awesome!” TK exclaimed from the back of the plane.

“Agreed.” Someone added, causing Alex to roll his eyes as he pretended that that game meant nothing more to him, than anyone else. “Crosby, when do we play them?” The same voice yelled, and Alex finally turned around to see Cookie peering into the aisle, his eyes focused on the back of Sidney’s head.

“Umm… we get back on Sunday, and we play them two days after, so Tuesday.” He explained, his eyes zoning out as he mentally tried to picture the season’s schedule.

“Hear that Alex, next Tuesday you get to punch Carter in the face.” Rupp said smugly, turning around in his seat to glance at Alex.
Alex sighed and looked out the window, hoping they’d eventually get bored and leave him alone.

Max cleared his throat from beside Alex. “Maybe we should call Evan up, non? I mean… she can throw a punch. You... not so much.”
The boys began to laugh at that statement, causing Alex to blush in annoyance and embarrassment.

“It’s true though, Evan’s a lot wilder than you… bet she’s all about the ‘Gogo domination’.” Billy G added from somewhere behind Alex.

Kris let out an exasperated sigh, tilting his head back. “Guys come on. Back off and leave him alone… he doesn’t want to talk about personal shit with you idiots.”

Alex looked across the aisle at Kris and gave him a thankful grin, which Kris returned. “Oh! Have we touched a tender topic Mr. Letang?” Cookie quipped, nudging TK. “I think Piglet’s getting uncomfortable.”

“Ha! Our two little S&M boys.” Rupper started to laugh, slapping the arm rest with his large, calloused hand. “I just thought… it’s like we have two piglets… like Toot and Puddle, get it?”

“Toot and Puddle? What the fuck are you talk about, Rupper?” TK asked, staring at him with confusion clouding his face.

Rupper shrugged at him incredulity. “Toot and Puddle those two fucking pigs that travel all over the place… it’s a kid’s show…” He added when no one said anything. “I watch it with Mason all the time!” Rupper continued, defensively as everyone started to laugh at him.

Alex turned back around as the guys began to laugh harder at Rupper’s backtracking attempts. He felt pretty confident that they’d leave him alone, at least for a while.
Although, without having to listen to them babble at him or make choice comments, all he was left with were his thoughts - and that wasn’t exactly a positive thing.

He couldn’t really talk about it with the guys, they just wouldn’t understand, hell… he didn’t really understand.
It was almost implausible to think that he could have been waiting so long for this moment, and he was completely ready to let her go. It wasn’t even that he didn’t have a choice, it was that fact that he knew, it was the right thing to do.

At times, he wished that his ideas of right and wrong weren’t so black and white, then maybe he could ignore his gut, and just try and make her stay. Of course, that would go against everything he stood for.
He wanted Evan, needed to be the next one to be with her, but that wasn’t all he wanted.
He also wanted to be the last man to ever be with her. The one that she could count on and turn to, believe in and trust. After everything she'd been through, Alex knew that that was going to take some time, luckily for him, he was a patient person.

Evan waited by the front window. She didn’t want to seem needy or creepy, but she was desperate to be around people again. No, desperate to be around Alex.

She hadn’t gone to work all week. Not wanting to drive the car that Jeff had bought for her, she’d been stuck in Pittsburgh the whole time the guys had been gone.
Of course, since Jordan, Max and Alex had all gone in Jordan’s SUV to the arena to catch the bus, Max’s and Alex’s vehicles were still in the driveway.
She wasn’t about to drive either one of them though, she was already bumming enough as it was.

She had basically lived the past two years of her life, completely dependent on Jeff. She’d allowed him to pay all the bills, buy everything for her and dictate her life.
She’d moved to a new state for him, given up school for him, all she had was her job, and she wasn’t even attending that at the moment.
And what if she had have done everything Jeff wanted? She wouldn’t even have her shitty, dead-end job.

Now, she was stuck living off Alex’s money. He didn’t have a problem with it, calling every night to make sure she still had the credit card he’d left for her, and that everything was ok. In truth she hadn’t touched the thing; the black and gold Penguins Visa still sat on the kitchen counter.

She couldn’t believe that everything had come to this. As she stood in the reflection of the setting sun, she felt like it wasn’t just disappearing behind the tall buildings, but out of her life completely.
She’d become a parasite, leeching off of Alex both literally and metaphorically.

Evan, in her own mind, now felt like she was no better than the puck bunnies, jersey chasers and rink whores, she’d dealt with in high school and university.
She was broken. Plain and simple. She’d managed to become everything that she despised and hated in a matter of months.

She didn’t deserve Alex. This week alone had given her the time to see that. She wanted him, she loved him, and she knew he loved her… but that’s what made the whole thing so wrong.
Alex deserved someone who was whole and perfect. Someone that could give everything they had to him and never put him through anything bad.
She’d already managed to break his heart, several times - she was sure - and she didn’t want to do it anymore.

This time would be different though, she’d back off and give him space. Start her life over and hope that’d he’d eventually move on.
This time when she left, she wouldn’t be coming back.